Talking to the Machine

Don't you just love talking to machines, I bet you do. If there's one thing I dislike the most, other than incompetent drivers, its the machines that you have to talk to when you call costumer service, or any other business or some sort.

The worst thing ever, is when you call for information or to set something up with someone, you get this, "for English press one, for Espanol press two", so of course most of us press one. Then the horror begins. "For this option press this number, for that option press that number, for this number press that number", okay, now say in all that mumble jumble you actually caught something that sounded like it was what you wanted. You then press that number, "Please listen carefully as our options have changed", nope not that much they haven't, not really because this is what u get, "For this option press this number, for that option press two, for this option press that number, for that number press four, for all other options press five", yea because you really want to listen to all the other options they have right, and finally, "To replay ALL options press 9". At this point, AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!, I want to tear all my hair out. Okay so say you find the option that you are looking for, if you haven't already hung up the phone at this point, and you press the number, "For this option press one, for that option press two, for this option press this number, for that option press that number, to replay ALL options press this number". I bet some of you want to pull out your hair right now don't you? I could do this until you fall asleep reading this blog, but I'll save you your hair.

The thing is, it doesn't matter where or who you call anymore these days, you always end up talking to the machine, or your talking to someone who has no idea what your talking about, how inconvenient that the only reason you are calling them is to get information or help with something. Now that you've totally confused the person on the other side of the phone, their not even the person you want to talk to, "I'm sorry sir/mam I have no idea what your talking about, let me transfer you to someone who further probably don't even now what your talking about, so they can transfer you once again AND put you on hold. By this point it's been about one hour now and you've already smoked a pack of cigarettes, and eaten a whole bottle of Aspirin, or any other pain medication, if you have morphine at this point you might want to take it.

Me, I don't smoke, and I don't have any morphine on hand sadly but true, ha ha just kidding, maybe. So I hang up as soon as I hear the, "For English press one". I then sit back and take a deep breath and maybe do some yoga because I know that the next hour and a half is going to be absolute................................pain. The best part of it all, is that for some reason, whatever the reason may be, when all the pain and suffering is done, you can't even understand the person on the other end of the phone.

And people wonder why some of us don't have hair.